Dangers of Online Dating...

Online dating is the new form of dating , Placing a profile online as to what you would want from a partner and placing a picture of yourself makes online dating so much easier to find a mate. I read many profiles some very intellectual and some very childish. I always enjoyed reading through the profiles to understand what people needs are for a relationship and what makes people happy for a relationship. It always seem the majority of men want to relive there childhood, There profiles always wanted an outdoor girl, what ever that meant, in my opinion if she was outdoors then when will she have time to be a mother and wife, but that is exactly what these men did not want, they wanted a playmate, and there was some which you can see from there profiles wanted pure wives too look after them. Most of the men I came across who have given up most of the lives for the career get to an age between 50 and 60 years old and then realize they worked so hard to climb the corporate ladder and now that they are busy falling off from it there is no one to catch them, Online dating is a secure way of meeting people and safe from a female point of view because you can sit in your home and choose a potential partner. We would never walk in a mall, see a guy/gal, walk up to them, and say, “Hi, would you like to chat” therefore online dating is a great forum to meet people.

The danger of online dating is not meeting the people physically, because you meet them in malls for coffee and if you do not like them, you move on. The dangers of online dating are more to do with our mental state of mind. Being single for 3 years and meeting people online has given me the opportunity to meet wonderful people whom I could never have met if I have not been online. After 3 years of online dating, I still find myself single, why? Most ask me. The Answer is simple. We as humans attract what our wants are, you have a profile, which you “advise” people to react to, and you have a mental profile in your subconscious of what you want within a person. The two does not necessary correspond. Firstly you place an ad to suit the norm and to present yourself as normal as possible. The underlying problem is in what state of mind are you actually writing that profile.

There can be many reasons why you actually going online,
You have been hurt by a someone you have loved dearly
You are on the rebound
You trying to prove a point to the ex. That you can be with someone.
You need to find a partner before your ex does.
You don’t want to be alone
You insecure and need validation that you can be loved.
The list is endless

No one goes onto the site because they feel secure, loved and want to enhance another’s life. Online dating is like trying to manipulate destiny ourselves because there is an urgency to heal, and therefore allowing destiny to play its part would only prolong our agony. Yes, many have found there partners online, I say look within yourself and ask yourself, “Did you really find what your heart desire” or did that person fulfill a need of desperation that you needed to be filled by someone.

When I say we attract what we put out, I also mean that when we are hurting and feel unloved, it is obvious that is what we will attract. Online dating is that attraction. Healthy minded people would not consider choosing partners from a site because they know those people are not healthy within there hearts and mind. Who wants to spend there lives healing someone who cannot heal himself or herself. Healthy relationships come from the people involved who understand what it means to love unconditionally and those people know that they are emotionally stable and that is what they will attract. You will meet a vast amount of people from all walks OF LIFE ONLINE but they will all have the same thing in common. Trying to find someone to heal them because they do not understand that what you think you attract , they hurting therefore they attract others who are hurting into there lives only to find that 3 or 4 months down the line things don’t work out because perhaps they are healed and the relationship does not serve there purpose anymore.

To have a healthy relationship with someone you need to understand what your needs are, you need to Learn and feel the difference between love and hurt. You have to understand Healthy minds create healthy relationships. You cannot heal nor mend another person only yourself. When you are focused and you can smile to yourself because you feel contentment then that is the time when you will attract another person whom you will feel comfortable to allow them to enhance what you have already achieved. You do not do any justice to the other person by smothering them with your love when they cannot find it in there own heart to love themselves. Allow them the space to find love within themselves. Set them free to find themselves and when they come back you know you can have a relationship based on love and not needs. Another fatal flaw with online dating is that people do not put there 100% into the relationship as they know with one click of a mouse they can find another…. In addition, those who do date with there online potentials will always have the fear that they could be busy with other people online too. When a relationship starts wrong then it will breed all the wrong emotions in the relationship. Trust and Love will be taken for granted….